A trip to the arcades/The story of my "engagement ring"

For those of you who didn’t read the post before this, I’d like to explain my general mood yesterday to you; PIG SICK! I had a headache that didn’t budge for hours, I no longer fit into most of my clothes and  Tom and I aren’t going to see each other for ages from tomorrow evening…

However, being the amazing chap he is, Tom decided to try to cheer me up. So, we left the house with the idea to go to Cabot for a few drinks and games of pool which he’d obv win but I’d have fun trying to use my “Gypsy Magic” - long story lol…

Anyway, we actually ended up in an arcade and it was brilliant!!! We had so much fun and we won 215 tickets J

I suppose now its probably a good time to return to the engagement ring - now, before you rush out and buy a big hat, I must warn you, its just a wind up. Although we thought we had done marvellously well in getting these 215 tickets, it turns out that it takes a little more than that to get something very good (for example, for 30,000 tickets, you can get some kind of rock band/guitar hero world tour thing!!!) SO, we ended up looking at the trays of crappy, plastic rings. Now, I must say, one of the trays (where I picked mine from), wasn’t all bad; the one Tom chose his from, however, was lucky bag fodder if I’ve ever seen it!

So, I left the arcade, feeling much better, with a pretty “silver” ring with “diamonds” in it, while Tom had a huge, plastic, purple rock on his hand…

Love xoxo

PS - I’m very sorry if anyone who reads this gets as excited as Loz did when we sent her a picture entitled “Laura’s Left Hand” :P xoxo

I'm just gonna have a little whinge

Now, I am well aware that in one of my previous posts I said Iwas going to stop whinging on here but today is an exception. I have the authority to say this because; 1 - this is my blog, 2 - I have a hideous headache and 3 - because I am a female and it is a well-known fact that it is a female's prerogative to change her mind.

So, as per usual, my headache has made my usually frustratingly mundane life a little more unbearable today, so much so that I'm back to barely speaking to Tom. This in itself is not a good thing because he is my boyfriend and we live together; however, today it is worse because as of Wednesday evening we won't be seeing each other until the 6th of August. Now, I am aware that this is only nine days but considering we have only spent three nights apart since easter and he is the only thing keeping me relatively strong at the moment, a week and two days is a very long time, made only worse by the fact that I have two eight+ hour coach journeys ahead of me.

Add that to my low self-esteem due to my unfair weight gain, my lack of job and therefore money, being stuck in the house all day everyday, sporadic headaches and I think you can call that a recipie for a pretty crappy day.

Thank you. Moan over. You can carry on now...

love xoxo

And the the tides HAVE turned :)

Well, I'll say it again, it DOES pay to be positive; and it also pays to apply to a million places, no matter how random they may seem at the time!

I've just had a rather lovely chat on the phone with a man from the Exeter branch of 3 (the phone company), who puposefully picked the random time of quarter past three on a Sunday to give me a short telephone interview. He was such a sweetheart and he said he loved my accent (this was something I needed to hear because I was beginning to think nobody in Weston would employ me because of where I was from) and people would find me approachable and friendly.

So, I'd appreciate it if everyone who reads this keeps as many things as possible crossed for me to get a face-to-face interview with the Weston branch manager... and then the job!!! :)

love xoxo

dust myself off and try again

So, although last night ended up turning into an utter fiasco, I have decided, once again, to sort myself out and keep trying...

Now, for those who haven’t read my blog for the past two days; I managed to get closer to a job than I have in the whole two months of my job search. It was in a lovely place, the Pink Leaf Indian restaurant. It honestly couldn’t have been a more perfect thing, its literally a thirty second walk from my house!!! However, I digress (always wanted to say that!!!), I wandered into the restaurant by chance yesterday and asked about the waiting job I had seen advertised on the jobcentre plus website; the manager kindly asked me to return in a few hours for a short work trail “to see what I could do”…

Apparently what I can do is panic. A lot. So much so that its difficult to breathe, speak and see (quite important when you’re working behind a bar or as a waitress, I’d imagine). Yes, the minute I stepped out of my front door I was struck with this indescribable feeling of terror, which quadrupled when I actually entered the building…

I estimate that I lasted no more than three minutes at the Pink Leaf before I ran, complaining of an imminent migraine, just managing to get back to my flat before exploding into wild, hyper-ventilated tears. The once again lovely manager offered me another chance - but lets be honest now… how can I go back? Even to eat there now would be a horrendously embarrassing experience. But I suppose that’s life…

So, back to my original point; I’m not going to let this stop me - granted, I intend to stay out of the Pink Leaf - BUT I do not intend on giving up completely; I applied for at least five other jobs yesterday and I have an application to fill in and another one to go pick up tomorrow.

I shall not be beaten by the corporate machine… just by my inability to be a waitress…

Love xoxo

perhaps not....

well, i messed that up royally -- had a panic attack in Pink Leaf and had to lie to 

my prospective manager that i had a migraine.

i feel a right wally.

xoxo

PROGRESS!!!!

it appears that my fresh, new, positive outlook on life has paid off!

i have a trial at the Pink Leaf Indian restaurant tonight!!!!

woop xoxo

still going crazy/sorting my life out and not whinging everytime i write this blog!

so, i started writing yet ANOTHER whining blog about how i have no cash and no job and how i'm slowly losing more of my marbles as each day passes --- BUT i have decided; NO MORE! i'm going to be pro-active and positive (for possibly the first time in my 19 years of life!) and get what many would call "an effing grip"! :)

so, the new improved life plan of laura (that's me if you hadn't already worked it out) is as follows;

- stop whinging unless i plan to do something about the situation (eg - no more bitching about my weight until i get off my arse and do something to remedy it)
- try my bloody hardest to get a job and don't let it get me down if it doesn't happen in seconds (some people spend months, years out of work!)
- SAVE MONEY (when i eventually get it)
- buy my passport (for lanzarote 2011!!)
- enjoy every bit of my second year in weston (because i do love it here)

and for now, that shall do :)

love xoxo

a time for change

yes ladies and gents, it's that time of year again (no, i haven't gone crazy; i know christmas isn't for months yet!). it is time, once again, for me to make a lot of phoney promises to myself about how i'll be different this coming academic year; get a haircut, find a new style, be "cooler"...however, no matter what i say, these pseudo-new year's resolutions never get kept; i still have the same haircut i had when i was fourteen, i still wear the same clothes as i did when i was fifteen but worst of all, i never became one of the "cool" kids...

but the difference this year is that i don't think i want to change; for once in my life i am comfortable with who i am. now, for those of you who know me well, you will see this as a startling revelation - which it is. i still want all of the things i usually want; lose a little bit of weight, be more patient, do my work on a day other than the one before it's due in etc, but i don't want to change me.

doctor, i think we've made some progress :)

love xoxo

got the blues...

so, i'm actually sick of feeling like crap now. being stuck in this stupid house is driving me crazy; i've got nothing to do, no money to do it with and no job to get money from. 

i've felt this cabin fever before, a few summers ago. granted, the situation was worse then but the sheer fact that i'm doing the same as that year gets me into the same mindset as i was back then. as if i'm worthless and of no earthly good to anyone. 

to be honest i just feel sorry for tom, he's the one that has to deal with me being like this, not speaking or locking myself in the bathroom while i cry. i have to admit he is coping with it amazingly; but how long until he stops wanting to cope? i mean, he shouldn't have to; a crazy girlfriend who does all this stupid stuff isn't the usual.

i don't know what i'd do without him xoxo

i wish i'd written this...

cosmic love - florence and the machine

A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes
I screamed aloud, as it tore through them, and now it's left me blind

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat
I tried to find the sound
But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

xoxo

another little job update

since the last job-related post i have;
- filled in an application for the works
- been ignored from the works
- had and interview for birthdays
- been rejected by birthdays
- pestered the staff of priceless again (they neeeeeeed to sart looking through their CVs!!!)
- given my details to treds so they can arrange an interview
- been waiting by the phone...

hrmmmmmm

xoxo

post script: also, i have another medium of internet correspondance now -- girls, you can find me at http://lookville.com/laurahilton where fashion is only a click away (surely i should be getting paid for that kind of positive advertisement!)

feeling musical...

i miss singing. i miss writing. i miss rehearsing. and most of all, i miss performing.

xoxo

just gonna stand there and watch me burn?

so last night scared me - big time. for the first time i saw something i never thought i would - a side of you i never thought i could.

""You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe when you’re with ‘em
You meet and neither one of you even know what hit ‘em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills used to get ‘em
Now you’re getting fucking sick at lookin at ‘em...""

everything is fine now, perfectly fine -- but it still happened... no violence, just a really ugly fight

xoxo